sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
