i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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