Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
