no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
