i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
