I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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