clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
