all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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