I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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