dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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