Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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