Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize