So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
