my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
