Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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