Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
