his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
