so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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