I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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