Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
