I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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