You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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