My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
How drunk are you?
Completed.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
