office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So much Jack, so little girl.
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