Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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