i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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