He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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