My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
