she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
