Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
