There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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