is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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