I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize