i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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