I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
