Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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