two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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