I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
