There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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