please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
