About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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