Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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