there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
