There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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