I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
