Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
