Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
that is very illegal...i love you.
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