I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
