I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
