Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
