am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
